Thursday, June 20, 2013

It Gets Better…. Then it Gets Bad Again

If there is one thing I know with certainty, it is that life gets REALLY hard to do sometimes. Even if you have had a relatively easy life with two loving parents, a dog, and a life in the suburbs, things can get hard, and sometimes you don’t feel like you have the energy to make it.

I’ve definitely had my fair share of trouble. On top of a long history of tying to hide my depression, I have been physically and emotionally abused by people who swear their love and devotion. Years of harbored feelings of regret, worthlessness, and misery still rush back at the drop of a word, and I am sent spiraling down into another chasm of despair that I rarely have the energy to climb out of. Frequently these feelings invade my current relationships, making them difficult to maintain, further exaggerating my loneliness. When this happens, sometimes apologies just aren’t enough to fix things. So I’m left wondering what to do to make my life suck less.

I wish I could give you a go-to answer, but if there is something I have learned through all of this, there isn’t just one solution. Sometimes, just getting out of bed feels like the biggest accomplishment of your life, and maybe it doesn’t seem like much to everyone else, but when you have been stuck there for a week drowning in sorrow, let me tell you, you have done well by getting up, and I am celebrating with you. Getting out of bed is proof that IT GETS BETTER. And you know what? It will get bad again. But that’s ok. Because the trick to getting through life is not looking for some cure-all or a Prince Charming to give you a happily ever after ending. It’s finding a way to cope in the midst of all of it. It’s finding a way to get out of bed even when you would rather lay there and die.

One thing that has always stuck in my head is an old friend’s word of reminder: “This too shall pass.” Everyday you have another chance at making your life suck less. Start with getting up, and the rest will come a little easier than you’d expect it would, until one day you realize that you made it through it, and you are that much stronger for the next time a shitstorm blows through. Remember: If you made it through this one, you can make it through the next one. Just hold on. It will pass. That, I can promise.

Be strong.

My ears are always open if a friend is what you need.

2 comments:

  1. I am always here for you! Love you Tab! I feel you. I've been where you are and it sucks major ballage! LOVE YOU!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for being there. I love you!

      Delete